Have you ever contemplated about how the very place which seems jubilant and pervaded with merry commotion in the day time becomes darkly morbid, gloomy and full of terrible fears at nightfall? Isn’t it that very place that you were in during the light of day? It most certainly is. But why is it scaring you now? What has changed now? Your perception of it due to a slight change in the surroundings, that is what has changed.
Now I am a man, a young man if you may. It is therefore expected of me to be manly and brave. But that I am not. Why? Because I have stupid fears of small things that would make you laugh. But they are as real for me as the fear of a ghost or a dead-man-walking is for you. I justify these irrational fears of mine by giving the example in the afore-mentioned paragraph: It is all about the angle from which you see a thing; Which dimension of the thing at hand you choose to scrutinize.
Although I must say I have not always been like this. My feats of bravery and resilience displayed in my childhood days have often been narrated to me by my elders. When I was a child I got a bone marrow and water extracted from within my spine. I was born with a terrible eye infection with puss coming out of my eye corners. I never watched television like my peers used to, except for the few minutes that I managed to view it for through television’s reflection on the room window. I had an eye surgery in third grade but did not whimper, not a single complaint of irritation etcetra. Once my foot got run over by my own car’s tire as I made my way out of it at school gate but I still went to school, limping on one leg. Once while watching player of the week clip on TV I was ushered by my brother to get him a plate. I rushed into the kitchen and held onto the door side to turn myself around towards the sink. My middle finger got stuck in the gash where the lock goes in and Patukhhh! Finger turned back, but not a tear. I got most of my teeth extracted with injections and tools, but not a tear.
Now I quite regretfully have to confess that that is not the case anymore.
What follows is a list of fears I hold regarding different things. They are very mild, nothing serious. Therefore labelling them as “phobias” would be to err. But nevertheless these things irritate me and deserve a post of their own. You might find yourself having these fears too, but it’s just that you haven’t really noticed them or given them enough importance to write about them in length. But I do have that kind of precious time which I am at the liberty to waste as I wish. So, without any further ado (yup, I don’t mind using cliched phrases), let us proceed:
Astrophobia: Fear of thunder or lightning
I was on my PC and had read about a doomsday prophecy earlier on that day. This doomsday, according to the prophecy, was to occur on that very day. It was a holiday I guess, maybe weekend, so therefore I was quite oblivious of the weather and all: hibernating mode basically. So imagine my surprise when I heard a louder the hell thunder with which the electricity failed. Complete darkness and a loud silence pursued, that certain foreboding silence. Then another thunder followed by another and so on. The entire house literally became lighted through windows at every lightening. The noise was deafening, light blinding. The winds moaned and whistled. Then started the hail. It threatened to bring down the roof, I tell you. The ground shook or so it seemed, the walls rumbled as hail hurled against them and the lightening roared. I was certain that one of those hundreds of lightnings was bound to bring down our house, the question was when.
It was the first time I felt real fear, ineffable trepidation.
The first time I really feared God.
And it was the first time I asked to be forgiven with tears in my eyes and self on the prayer mat.
He did forgive me, He did accept my promise to not miss a single prayer and He did accept my promise to never do wrong again. But I have not prayed for a long time and I have done wrong. I used to think about those generations who went astray even after watching Allah’s prophets’ miracles and the destructions that came to the wrong doers. I used to wonder how on Earth can someone be so ignorant and forget those lessons?
I now know how that happened. And I also know man is bound to do wrong and be lead astray, or maybe it’s just that I am from among those with weak faiths and characters. This is it then, I have to establish prayer again. Starting today.
So this is how I acquired that fear of lightening. Now, as soon as the sky begins to rumble and it rains, all I’m wishing for is: just rain, no thunder. I haven’t even gone in the rain intentionally for a long time but initially I loved too.
Fear of Ceiling Fans
Have you ever thought how extremely dangerous it would be to have sharp blades spinning at an incredibly fast speed hanging a few feet over your head by just a rod? I mean, it’s just a rod! And the blades are attached to the center circular spinning part with just a few nuts. What if one of those blades’ nuts slip and it plunges towards you? What if the entire killer machine falls off? It has the potential to crack your skull, slice your brains nicely in two and make the top of your head an independent entity. Or better still it can perform a perfect beheading feat.
It isn’t severe, but the thought every now and then enters my head and I start avoiding sitting directly beneath the fan. If anything can happen in this world, this can most probably happen.
The fear of the rumbling of an aeroplane in flight
I remember reading in school an Oxford English language comprehension exercise passage which said that just before a devastating earthquake strikes, you hear a certain rumble, like that of an approaching aeroplane or a train. This rumbling grows in volume until becomes loud enough and that’s when the Earthquake shakes everything with utmost convulsion.
Now whenever I hear an aeroplane approach, part of my head is apprehensive. Who knows, this might be that rumbling. Or what if the growing noise never dies down and mutes away in the distance; what if the sound continues to grow until the plane crashes into your house? This happened in Model Town in my very city in this past month. So I’m guessing it is again a possibility now, isn’t it?
Fear of mirrors
No I’m not a superstitious zealot and I’m not completely insane, please wait and hear me out will you? I know this has gotten too ridiculous for you by now, but hold on a minute will you. Now see, What if. Just saying, what if you are looking into the mirror and you turn your head to the right… but your reflection keeps on looking at you. Then it reaches out with both its hands and grabs its upper and lower jaws, one with each of the hands. It then starts to pull them apart… you feel a certain strain In your jaws too. As the smiling reflection slowly rips apart it’s jaws, same is happening to yours. Haan?
Quite “Jaw dropping” eh?
Or one of this could happen?
Ok so enough scares for now. I would now stop/end this. But the thing is, all these fears come and go, and are hopefully temporary. They surely bug me, but not to the point where it becomes absolutely intolerable. Now I would leave you with all the best luck the next time you find yourself surrounded by atmospheric electrical discharges accompanied by thunders of 30,000°C. Also best of luck while sitting under the spinning blades, being almost struck by earthquake or a plane and for the next time your hum zaat in the mirror tries to do anything undesirable to you.
Pip pip Toodle oo!
Next stop: An eerily peculiar pattern of nightmares I have been having recently.